Feliz Navidad! - Dec. 23, 2013

Hola familia! Feliz Navidad!

 

Okay so some news about the phone call - it's now going to be at 5 tomorrow. Sorry about that! I hate messing with your plans. But I found out I CAN use google hangout, so that's good! I will be able to talk for about 40 minutes.

 

Sound like you all had a wonderful, hectic weekend! Sounds like lots of fun, and also pretty exhausting. 

I am excited to get those packages! And I did get my skirt, it was in the other package, so no worries. :)

 

This week has been VERY interesting. SO tough at first. But every day is better and better :) I am doing my best to "Come what may and love it!" I have seen so many tender mercies this week and I know that God's hand is in my life and I am not alone. It was super crazy seeing the Mills! I was shocked. And very happy to see them. Brad said that Playas was his first area too, and also his favorite. That gave me a lot of comfort. 

 

Another reason I am grateful for the time I served in Odgen, is I remember how I felt when I got there, and how that was a bit of an adjustment, and then how hard it was to leave. I know that will be the same many times in my mission and I just have to keep pressing forward and praying and trusting in the Lord. It always works out when we trust in Him! I really do love it here, and I love my companion and our ward. The people are so nice to me, their first gringa missionary! Quite a few know English as well, but mostly we speak in Spanish. I was pretty exhausted the first few days, partly from walking and also from focusing so much to understand and speak Spanish all day, but like I said, every day is better than the day before and I am so grateful to be a missionary and have this opportunity to serve the Lord.

 

Thank you for everything- for your prayers and support and love! I love you!

I'll talk to you tomorrow! I am very excited to meet my new niece! :)

Love,

Hermana Serena

I am in Mexico!!!! - Dec. 17, 2013

Dear famiila!!

I am in MEXICO. Crazy. Also I dont really know how to use this keyboard, so Im not going to use apostrophes. Hope thats okay!

Mom, Im glad you wrote, because even though I didnt think I would write today, here I am! My companion didnt write yesterday either so we are writing today. I dont have a ton of time, but I hope I can write enough. And theres a good chance there will be tons of spelling errors. Sorry! 

SO my area is Playas de Tijuana (Beaches of Tijuana) and my companion is Hermana Mendoza. She is from Veracruz. I will try to send pictures next week. She doesnt speak much English but she is learning. But we still speak in Spanish all the time. Im glad she is patient with me when I dont understand things. But I do understand quite a bit. Mostly I can carry on conversations, if I focus really hard, though not with as much of a vocabulary I want, but I trust that that will come with time, and I just need to be patient and do my best. Playas is also called "the corner of Mexico" because it is right next to the ocean and the border. We are super close to the US. 

Being a new country is kinda crazy. It was very hard to say goodbye to Sister Arnell and our district there. I love those people! I miss them a ton, but I know Ill see them again! ANd I love the mission here! I had my zone leader give me a priesthood blessing on Sunday night and Im very grateful for it. It gave me strength and confidence and helps me to trust in the Lord. Its definitely an adjustment being here, but I love it! I love the Spanish and the crazy drivers and the heat and everything! The weather here is perfect. The only thing that worries me is that this is DECEMBER. I cant imagine how hot it will be in the summer.

Oh! I am going to skype (possibly google hangout) on the 24th! My companion says it will probably be around 6, which will probably interrupt your Christmas Eve dinner...sorry. Im not sure if it can be a different time... I will also write on Monday, which is our p-day. 

I really do love it here. The culture is different, but I love it. Every once in a while I think "Oh my goodness Im in MEXICO." and its a little crazy but I keep focusing on the Lord and the work He has for me here. Currently my favorite scripture is Phillipians 4:13. Todo lo puedo en Cristo que me fortalece! Yo se que esto es verdadero y que esta es la iglesia de Jesucristo y he sido llamada por un profeta para predicarlo aqui en Tijuana. Estoy muy agradecida por esta oportunidad. Yo se que Dios nos ama y que el Libro de Mormon es Su palabra! Estoy muy feliz a ser misionera! 

I hope you all enjoyed that little bit of espanol! Its not great, but I love it and I am learning more and more each day. This is the Lords work and I know He is helping me every single day. Theres no other way I could do this.

I love you all! Thank you for your prayers and support. I pray for you as well. I hope you are having a joyful Christmas season and taking the time to remember our Savior at this wonderful time of year. 

Love,

Hermana Loveland

"[Ogden] should be beautiful this time of year; all that SNOW."

 

 

"[Ogden] should be beautiful this time of year; all that SNOW."

 

I hope you are having a great Christmas season and watching all of the family favorite Christmas movies and eating lots of delicious food! And the snow IS beautiful. And also really cold. But it's all good. :) We are in houses a lot and sometimes people offer us rides. A few different times random people (members, usually) have pulled over and offered to take us where we need to go. It is wonderful. One family that picked us up had the Carpenters Christmas CD playing. Good stuff! Sister Arnell commented that it was the CD her family always listened to on Christmas morning. Then as we were getting out of the car, he gave us the CD! A lot of people are very kind to us!

 

So for some not-so-good news, I never got the St. Nicholas package. :/ The sister in the office said she thought she remembered that one and had forwarded it on to our apartment, but we never got it. There is a chance that it's still at the mission office and I'll get it on Thursday at our Christmas party, but who knows. But I will be getting the Christmas package then :) I look forward to it. Thanks!

 

There is a woman in our ward who was baptized a week before I got here. Her "husband" (they weren't actually married) has been out of town for a little bit, but he came home last week and on Wednesday we were at their wedding! It wasn't anything fancy, just in their apartment and there were only a few of us there. Sister Arnell and I signed the documents as witnesses! That was pretty cool. I was very glad to be there. They are a wonderful family. He is planning on being baptized in a couple weeks and they are already looking forward to the temple in a year! I am so happy for them! I will try to send a picture of them, their three kids and us.

In other great news, our 21 yo investigator read the Book of Mormon on his own!! We had missed a couple days of reading with him because he was busy and we asked him to read before we came on Friday and he read 24 verses! We were pretty proud of him. And he said he can only meet with us a couple times this week, but he said he will continue to read every day!!!

 

L's family didn't make it to church on Sunday because she was sick. :( So we had to push back their baptism date to the 22nd, but we are not too worried about them because they are doing well and are looking forward to their baptism. :) We asked them how they felt about it last night and the 9 year old said something like, "I am so happy that I'm going to be baptized and be a Mormon." It's moments like this, when we get to see the pure joy of this gospel in the faces of our investigators, that it is ALL worth it. I love being a missionary!

About my visa, I still don't know much. I went to the consulate and the took a picture and a fingerprint, and that's it. Now we just wait. Once it comes, the mission office will call and let me know when I'm leaving, but it could be anytime, possibly within a week or two, or a couple months. So I'll just keep trying to work my hardest and serve the Lord and the people here! Being a missionary is the greatest. And I love this time of year. I am SO grateful for the knowledge that we have a Savior, who knows us and loves us and we are never alone. Christmas is such a happy time and being a missionary makes me happy too, so I'm just really happy!!! I am also very very grateful for the Book of Mormon. I love the time I get to spend reading it every day and I know that it helps me in so many ways, and can help anyone if they just read it and learn from it! It is so true.

I hope you have a wonderful week and stay warm! I love you!

Dad- Thanks for the email! And for the reminder about how especially as missionaries, people are watching. It's very true. We have nametags, and members and nonmembers know who we are and what we represent, and we have to do our best to live up to that! Thank you for your prayers and support. I love you Dad!
Mom- Christmas really is coming fast! It's the BEST time of the year, even though it can be crazy and busy. Be sure to tell the Anderson kids I say hi. :) And thanks for all of your efforts in missionary work! That is really awesome. Oh and if you wanted to send me some of those Christmas goodies, I wouldn't mind ;)

Ross- I was pleasantly surprised to have emails from both of my older brothers today! Thank you! I didn't forget about St. Nicholas day, don't worry. :) And I am enjoying being a missionary at this most wonderful time of the year. Give Katie and Claire and Aoife big hugs for me! I love you guys!

Jacob Demetrius Garner Loveland III- Thanks for the letter! You make me laugh! You and Ross are incredible examples to me. And I would have to agree, the Book of Mormon IS true! I love that book and the lessons we can learn. Also, let me know about that house!

Jeremy- Thanks again for sending me comics and real, handwritten letters! I love them. You rock.

Love,

Hermana Loveland

Photos!!

 Hermana Junca, a sister in my MTC district. I love this girl!

My MTC district at gym time

 My MTC companion, Hermana Urbina. We accidentally matched.

 With our teacher, Hermano Williams. (We all purposely matched this day.)

 Our teacher, Hermana De Leon.

My favorite twins, las Hermanas Taylor.

Another picture of our district :)

 My wonderful companion Hermana Arnell :)

I packed for Mexico. But I bought some fleece-lined tights, so it's all good :)

One month!

Hello family!

I have officially been out on my mission for more than a month! Crazy. It sounds like you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving with plenty of chaos :) You'll have to send me pictures of the downstairs as it gets organized! I'm excited to see.

 

So we use facebook to share scriptures, quotes, or spiritual thoughts and we can also use it to talk to our friends about the gospel and teach them.
 

Visa news! I am going to the consulate in Salt Lake tomorrow, and then...I don't know. They don't give us a lot of information. But mostly likely I will leave at the end of transfers, which is the week before Christmas. I hope I don't leave before then, especially since we have a few baptisms on the 15th!

 

Speaking of which, one investigator family came to church on Sunday! They loved it and they are excited for their baptisms. I am very excited for them. Another family also came, well at least the mom and her two youngest children. She has been less active, but I think she wants to come back. Her son is 8 and will also be baptized on the 15th. Her youngest daughter is 6 and I love her so much. Every time we come she yells, "Las hermanas!" or "las misioneras!" and runs to give us hugs. And she calls me Hermana Lovelyland. :) I love it. 

 

One thing we are doing with their family, and with a few others, is going over to read the Book of Mormon with them most days. Sister Arnell and I are getting to know first Nephi really well. :) but it's awesome. I love having family scripture study with these wonderful people, and the hope is that they will develop these habits and be able to do it on their own. I know that reading the Book of Mormon will bless their lives immensely and bring them closer as a family, and I've seen this happen in our own family! Thanks Mom and Dad for your great examples. :)

 

Another investigator we are reading with is 21. His younger brother joined the church two and half years ago and is currently on a mission. The investigator comes to church pretty much every week and is super involved with the ward members, he even helps with scouts! But there are a couple things in his life he doesn't want to give up yet. His mom reads with us too, she's not interested in joining the church right now, but she's a wonderful lady and gives us rides sometimes too. Someday. :) But we were reading with them last night, and he enjoys reading the Book of Mormon, and is marking his scriptures and looks for ways to apply it to his life. I am confident that if he keeps reading, he will decide to be baptized. That will be so wonderful.
 

 So for Thanksgiving, we had dinner at a members home. There was lots of food and it was soo good.  It was also good practice listening and understanding Spanish, because there were a couple families there who only spoke Spanish. I was able to understand a lot of it and got a lot of the jokes. :)

 

Last night our zone had family home evening at the mission home with President and Sister Hiers. It was lots of fun. They are great people. And our zone is lots of fun. Again, I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have had to serve in this mission with these people!

 

I love you all so much! Thanks for everything. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are enjoying the start of the Christmas season. :) It really is the most wonderful time of the year, especially if we remember what it is about. :)

Dad- I tried brussel sprouts on Thursday! They were...all right. haha And thank you for your prayers and support.

Mom- On Saturday night we had dinner with a member family in our stake and they had a quote on their wall that says, "Some of God's most courageous angels are the mothers of missionaries." I love it.

J- Seriously, write me.

A- I love you! Thanks for the email. I'm you had lots of food and lots of fun for Thanksgiving! Keep smiling!

W- Thanks for the email! I am having fun and I'm glad you are too! And yes, my Thanksgiving dinner was delicious. :)

Have a great week!

Love,

Hermana Serena

Happy Thanksgiving!

Buenos dias familia!

Another week has gone by. Time is a really weird thing, especially as a missionary. haha but I am loving it! Being a missionary is fun! And lots of work too!

To answer some of your questions, we don't wait at the church for tours, but we can do them, which would be especially cool because our church building is an older pioneer chapel, with stain glass windows and cool details. It's a really cool building. 

Also, that is awesome you are feeding the missionaries so much. I know they appreciate it!

We go running sometimes, and other times we just work out inside our apartment. We run for about 20 minutes, kinda towards the temple. But it's also pretty cold outside, so we often stay inside. Though it is great to have a temple so close, even though it's currently under construction. I'm hoping to be able to go to the Brigham City temple sometime while I'm here. We'll see. I love the temple! And I love helping recent converts or others take steps to be able to go to the temple. I know that it is the House of the Lord and He wants us all to be able to go there.

We had interviews with our mission president yesterday. President Hiers is an amazing man. It's incredible to me how he is over so many missionaries, but I can still feel the love and care he has for me. He said a couple times in the interview, "I'm so glad you're here." I am glad too. There are so many reasons why I've been sent here to serve and I'm grateful to be able to recognize a few of them. If it was my choice, I would be in Mexico already, which is why I'm SO glad it's not my choice! Otherwise I wouldn't have had these experiences or known these people.

So one family we just started teaching is a mom and her two kids, a 12 year old boy and a 9 year old girl. The dad works a lot, and is not interested in learning about the gospel right now, but he is fine with his family being baptized and his wife, says that she thinks he'll join the church soon after them. When we first met with them they were very excited and they want to be baptized. In our first full lesson with them, the mother was talking about being sealed in the temple! I think they are very prepared. Their Grandma was a member and they look up to her a lot, so that has a lot to do with it. We set a baptismal date for December 8th and they were very excited about it. Then on Sunday we waited and waited and waited and they didn't come. :( But the son was sick the day before, so that's probably why. I am hoping that we will be able to contact them today. We will have to change the baptismal date, because they have to come to church 3 times before, but I am hopeful that they will be able to be baptized on the 15th. I will keep you updated. :)

Also, in teaching the restoration to them, it was my first time teaching it to real investigators (as opposed to the many role plays we did in the MTC and since then). It went well and I really love teaching that. There is such power in the message of the restoration. It is so true and the spirit testifies of that when it is taught.

I am so grateful to be a missionary at this time, and to serve here with these people. I know that God's hand is in all of this. He has placed me here, in this city at this time, with this companion, this mission president, these missionaries and members to serve with, these disappointments and triumphs to experience. I am very grateful to Him. I love this gospel!

I love you all, thank you for your letters and support. I hope you have an amazing week and a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Love,

Hermana Serena

Also I love getting mail, so if you want to write me letters, I'd really appreciate it and I'll try to write back! :)

Dad- Thanks for the letter and update! There really is so much to be thankful for. Life is so good. I am grateful for our family and our heritage as well. What a great group of people!

Mom- Thanks for the email! You'll have to let me know about the projects Jake is working on downstairs and send me pictures! It sounds exciting! For Thanksgiving we are eating at a member's home and I'm not sure if anything else is happening, I think just teaching and being missionaries!

Jake- Happy birthday!!! I love you. Write me.

Jeremy- Thanks for sending me comics! I love them. I will write you a letter today.

Autumn- I love you! That's so cool that you have been running and good luck with training for that half marathon, I know you will do great! You are an amazing runner. People are feeding me well. Sometimes we eat with members of our Spanish ward, and that's usually Mexican food, and lots of times we eat with members of our stake. We get a good variety. :)

Wes- You are a funny kid. Thanks for the email, punk. I am having fun. :)

Familia!

[She sent this on Tuesday, Nov. 19. I am just a bit slow posting it.]

 

To my dear wonderful family and friends! It's been a couple weeks! Thank you for the emails. I had a lot to read and it was a little overwhelming actually, I feel very loved. Thank you for all of the love and support. I hope I am able to answer your questions, but I don't have a ton of time.

 

First of all, yes, my MTC companion is also here in Ogden. The rest of our district all got their visas and are in Mexico. Which makes me think that it shouldn't be too long before I get mine. But I have not received any information about it, so I'll just keep working hard here in Ogden!

 

So my companion is Hermana A. She is from St. Louis and this is her fourth transfer in the mission. She is wonderful! She also has blonde curly hair and some of the primary kids here think we are actually sisters. haha it's fun. We have lots of fun and work hard together. We are in the Buenaventura Ward (Spanish) here in Ogden. I love the ward. There are four sets of missionaries in our ward, us and 3 sets of elders. It is our whole district plus our zone leaders. It's pretty fun. We also don't have a car, so we walk a lot, but mostly it's not a problem and enjoy it.

 

We all have ipads and use facebook. We use facebook for an hour a day. Our ipads have our area book and planners and basically everything, but I still use my paper scriptures and Preach My Gospel a lot as well. It is really nice having the ipads though for reading conference talks and manuals or for looking up scriptures quickly. 

 

One thing we do a lot as missionaries is PRAY. I always knew missionaries prayed a lot, but it's crazy how much! I love it. We pray before we leave, we pray when we study, we pray before we do a roleplay, we pray to start meetings and to end meetings and in the middle of meetings. It's great. When we went running last Thursday morning, we said a prayer before we left and it brought to my mind the scripture 2 Nephi 32:9, which talks about how we don't do anything for the Lord without praying first and then He will consecrate our performance that it "may be for the welfare of thy soul." It is a very cool thought to me. 

 

Another thing I love is how well I am able to sleep! I fall asleep pretty quickly and sleep all night. Well, actually, I usually wake up once or twice in the morning before our alarm. I guess my body isn't used to sleeping in until 6:30. haha :)

 

We had a fireside on Sunday night with Elder Arnold, of the Quorum of the Seventy, I wish I could tell you everything about it, but I don't have time. But I do want to share what he said about how he shares the gospel. He said he was sitting in a Subway restaurant in Wyoming and he asked a man, "Do you know where the Mormon church is?" He already knew where it was, but he wondered if this man knew. And then he talked to him and a couple other guys there and now they are being taught by missionaries. It doesn't have to be a scary thing to share the gospel, we can easily bring up the gospel in everyday conversations. 

 

Okay for my Christmas package, they said they want them by November 30 I think because there will be a big party or something where we will get our packages. I don't what really to ask for, except for maybe a few winter clothes items. When I go to Mexico, I send a box home or leave it at the mission home for Jake to pick up. One of the sisters in my MTC district gave me her coat, but I could probably use a few scarves or gloves or maybe a longer skirt. Other than that, I still have to fly to Mexico at some point, so I don't have a lot of room for things. Maybe just letters or stories or quotes or pictures. I don't know. I trust you to figure something out, and I know it will be wonderful. :)

 

Well, I should probably go soon! Sorry this letter is kinda scattered, I hope it will be better next week. :) Remember that I love you and pray for you!

 

Love, Hermana Serena Loveland

Dad- Thanks for the emails and for all of your hard work. I love you!

Mom- Thanks for the emails and pictures. The door looks amazing! I'm glad you had a great birthday. And that is so awesome that you are sharing the gospel! It's the best. 

Ross- Happy birthday on Sunday! Thanks for your advice. You rock.

Katie- Thank you for the email! And for the pictures. That cake looks amazing. And Claire and Aoife are such funny girls. Thanks for being so awesome.

Autumn- Good job sharing the gospel and inviting your friend to activities! You are wonderful! I love you.

Wes- Thanks for the emails. I am loving it here. Yeah, I have a real companion and we knock on people's doors and teach people. It's awesome!

Oh and someone tell Clarissa thanks for the cupcakes! :)

Here's my address:

Sister Serena Loveland

4380 S Orchard Ave

South Ogden, UT 84403

Mom- can you also add these people to the email list?

"Nowhere else could we be able to handle this much stress, change, growth, adjustment, disappointment, homesickness, everything, and still feel GREAT about it!"

My dear wonderful family!

Thank you for the emails. I am definitely feeling loved right now. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to write today, because I have a LOT to say and not a ton of time, but I'll do my best. Also, I wrote you guys a letter, but I don't know if it's arrived yet (or maybe you just keep forgetting to check the mail :) ).

 

Today has been SUCH a good day. This morning we went to the TEMPLE. I love that place, and it's even better when you go with a ton of missionaries! I don't know everything, but I know that the temple is the house of the Lord and I can feel soo much of His love there. 

 

So about my district, we have six hermanas and zero elders. It's kinda crazy, but I LOVE it. These sisters are some of my favorite people in the world, and I've known them for less than a week. Crazy. But we are together all day every day. We all live in the same apartment as well, which is fun, though at times a little difficult because there is only one bathroom for all six of us. :) But it works out. My companion, Hermana U. and I the only ones going to Tijuana, and the other four are going to Cuernavaca. It is going to be incredibly hard to say goodbye to them next week. I love them all SO much.

 

Speaking of which, we fly out next Tuesday. I think our flight is around 11 AM. We fly into San Diego and drive from there. I think we have our visas, but I think we have to go to a consulate sometime to sign stuff or show ids or something, I'm hoping the travel office lets us know what's going on. If all else fails, maybe we'll be stuck in San Diego for a little bit. Worst things have happened. haha.

 

So the MTC is HARD, but good. Everyone says that but you never really know exactly how it feels until you get there. One of the sisters in my district kept saying last Wednesday, "This is the weirdest day of my life." It's a pretty accurate statement. It was a weird day. But this is a cool place. Nowhere else could we be able to handle this much stress, change, growth, adjustment, disappointment, homesickness, everything, and still feel GREAT about it! I am learning lots every day. It's hard and I'm learning to be more patient with myself, yesterday a teacher said, "Don't set standards for yourself higher than God sets for you." I like that. I am very excited to share this gospel, but I'm still trying to learn how to do that, but I believe it will come with time and I just have to keep trying and improving.

 

The language is going well. Being in an advanced class isn't as intimidating as I thought it would be, a lot of them grew up speaking Spanish some in their homes or with relatives and know a lot more than me, but they know more "street Spanish" and not as much the gospel terms, so they are still learning as well. It is great because we all work together and help each other out. If I don't know how to say something (which is often), usually someone else in our district knows. I learn the most Spanish when we are trying our best to speak it all day. I use the phrase "Cómo se dice...?" (How do you say...?) about a thousand times a day, but I'm improving. On Sunday I had an interview with our Branch President, President Call. In it he said something to the effect of, "No one will be converted because Hermana Loveland can conjugate verbs so well...The spirit is the most important part." 

 

Last night one of our regular teachers, Hermana deLeon, couldn't come to class, so we had a substitute. His name is Hermano Rock. He was amazing. He taught a great lesson and I learned a lot. But it was other things he said, stories he shared, scriptures he read and counsel he gave that were incredibly helpful to me. In a way, they answered some of my prayers. Yesterday was an especially rollercoaster-y day. Lots of ups and downs. Before class I was feeling a little down, but afterwards I felt amazing. He served his mission in Alabama and at first was English speaking. Later his mission president changed him to Spanish speaking. He didn't have the MTC to learn Spanish, but he somehow figured it out. His first Spanish speaking companion was from Chile and didn't speak much English, which helped. He said for him, the best way to learn the language was to not worry about learning Spanish. He would do his best to listen to the people and love them. For a while almost all he could say was, "Está bien." which ended up meaning a lot to him. It's all right. :) Things are okay. :) I like that message. Another thing he said was, "If you worry too much about speaking Spanish, you're gonna miss the point of why you're called to speak Spanish." After his lesson I felt much better. He reminded us to be happy and not stress too much. We also read 2 Nephi 2:24. It's a good one. I'm so grateful for that class. It helped me better understand my purpose and how to be patient with myself and be happy.

 

Oh! Another weird thing here is our meal schedule. We have breakfast at 6:30, lunch at 11 and dinner at 4. It took some getting used to, but it's all right. Está bien. :)

 

Well, I have to go pretty soon, maybe I'll even take a nap today. Maybe. 

 

I love this place. I love this gospel. I love the people of Mexico, and I haven't even gotten there yet. I love you all! Have a beautiful week.

Mom- HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you have a great  day. You deserve it! And yes, you should celebrate all week. I love you. Thanks for everything.

Dad- Thanks for the email. I want to see pictures of the new door! Thanks for everything, Dad. I love you lots. 

Jake- Do you have a post office box yet? I want to send you letters! I love you.

Autumn- That's cool you get to play in the Young Women program. Good luck! I love you! 

Wesley- I'm glad you're being fed well. I am too. The food is all right. Not quite like home food, but it's still okay. :) Thanks for the advice. I love you!

I hope I can write more next time, whenever that is, from Mexico!

Love,Hermana Loveland

Hermana Loveland!

Hermana Loveland is heading on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to Tijuana Mexico. She will be there for 18 months. Her weekly emails home will be posted on this blog. Her addresses will also be posted so that you can mail her letters--which would be much appreciated!